Not Quite Adulting: My Adult Moments

That moment you look round for an adultier adult, but it’s just you…

You’d think that at 31, having birthed 3 sprogs, been married then divorced, mortgaged up, 2 step kids and numerous pets – that I might consider myself a fully fledged adult. WRONG! Like many people I’ve asked on this subject, it’s not that I feel like a kid, but I certainly don’t feel like I’ve reached the peak of my grown-up-ness. Worringly, even my mum – a whole generation of adultier-ness above me, still doesn’t feel there yet. But perhaps being a grown-up isn’t a state, a bit like happiness, it’s fleeting moments; moments where it really feels as though I’ve got my shit together and I can do this – without doing a silly dance, asking for a straw with my coke or throwing a (discreet) tantrum when our local ice cream parlour runs out of cherry flavour on a particularly I-need-cherry-kinda-day.

So, here’s my list of moments when I feel top of my adult game – in the vague hope, some of you might also feel the same about adulting and always hoping there will be an adultier-adult to deal with the crap post fan-hit.

• Walking the dog – not sure why, but when I harness that beagle up, stick my wellies on and strap the baby in the cross-country buggy, I suddenly feel like I’m conquering all parental/pet ownership challenges in one go.

• Washing the sofa covers. This feels well-up there with adultness, because if I have time/washing machine space to wash the sofa covers, then it means I’ve got through all the other washing, which is pretty bloody adult!

• Parents evening. I don’t think I actually feel like an adult in this situation, which can be tricky to master when sat on a midget chair talking to someone that wrangles 30 kids on a daily basis (clearly adultier than me), but I certainly act like a grown-up, that’s just the done thing!

• Buying and applying weed-killer. This is another one of those things that if I get round to doing means that all the other jobs have been done (or are being irrevocably sidelined). Therefore, I’m winning in the adult stakes.

• Booking an online grocery shop to arrive on Sunday evening ready for the week ahead. Completely avoids the oh-crap-the-kids-will-have-to-have-rice-cake-sandwiches-in-their-lunch-boxes situation on a Monday morning. Now that it serious grown-up organisation at play.

• Getting the calendar off the fridge and writing all the term dates down, months in advance whilst remembering the pesky little inset days which are sent to catch you out!

• Going through the full cleanse routine before bed (not just a baby wipe!), removing every scrap of makeup – I’m talking full pre-cleanse, cleanse, tone and moisterise.

• Any form of insurance renewal/service provider change – nuff said!

Some things I doubt I will ever feel grown up enough to do include:

• Buy alcohol in an off-license without looking sheepish.
• Approach the Clinique counter and pretend I know which order their products are supposed to be applied in, or even what they do.
• After 3 kids and generally a lack of filter when it comes to discussing fannies and procreation, talk to my GP about contraception and sex without feeling like a naughty teenager.
• Quietly peruse books in Waterstone’s.
• Say no to a cola Colin the Caterpillar.

What are your adult moments or “definitely will never happen as I’m not adult enough” things? Let me know in the comments!