I often worry that I fill my Instagram stories with mundanity only rivaled by a ‘lifer’ in solitary confinement; the day-to-day drivel which remains on repeat week after week – it’s my life, I love it, but I’m perfectly aware that it’s not for everyone entertainment-wise! It lacks the ingenuity of Nicola of the wonder-stories-tastic WeeSlice, the mothering hilarity of Susiejverrill and the warm, encouragement (and llama enabling) of Gemma, Mutha.hood . Then I get a late night email reminding me exactly why I need to share those insignificant, ‘nothing’ moments/minutes/days – it’s hope and to someone, somewhere, that’s exactly what they need.
I often forget what I, and our family, represent – getting caught up in the routine. We’re life after depression; life after addiction; life after divorce; life beyond being on benefits as a single mum; life after mega shit storms sprinkled with arse-holes! In my darkest days I fantasised of mundanity, of routine and of predictability (beyond the destructive kind) – I craved it, I wanted it and I aspired to it. I longed to know that the “it will get better”s held truth – everyone else looked like they had their shit together, so why didn’t I?!
So, if you’re going through a divorce/at rock bottom/stuck in a cycle of shame and self-loathing/cleaning someone else’s bog just to put food on the table – please know that a) you’re not alone – really! and b) it really can get better; it might take patience, a bit of work to discover you’re enough and a lot of cups of tea – but if you take it one day at a time (those folks over at AA know what they’re talking about), soon, you’ll look back and realise 365 days have passed and see just how far you’ve come!
This post was originally shared to my Instagram page, but was so beautifully received, I wanted to give it its own space here in case you’re not the ‘gram type x
